Why the "Perfect Nanny" on Paper Might Not Be the Best Fit for Your Family

So, your family has decided that hiring a nanny is the best option for your unique needs, and now you’re trying to discern what exactly you expect from your ideal caregiver. Oftentimes, our inclination in these situations is to create a list of what the “perfect nanny” looks like for us. And there’s nothing wrong with this! Lists are helpful tools for processing, for working through needs vs. wants, for envisioning our best way forward.

However, sometimes we can lose sight of our initial goal, and our list of “must-haves” quickly begins to look a little something like this:

1. Has 10+ years of infant experience

2. Has extensive experience with multiples

3. Has a master’s degree in early childhood education or related field

4. Also has a background in teaching

5. Speaks 3 or more languages

6. Has a demonstrated and verifiable track record of the earliest talkers and walkers

7. Is a classically trained musician or artist

8. Has been to every children’s class in the Chicago area (or wherever it is that you live!)

9. Has never called in sick in their 10+ years of caregiving

10. Is SUPERHUMAN, preferably

Okay, this is a bit of a stretch, but you understand what we’re getting at. First, let me reiterate: there is nothing wrong with coming up with a list of the things you’re looking for in a caregiver. In fact, it’s encouraged! It’s beneficial to have clarity surrounding the kind of candidate who will best fit in with your family, your little ones, your schedule, and your needs. But sometimes we can get carried away. Our ideal caregiver soon becomes an idealized one, and even the most seasoned nanny in the industry can’t measure up.

It makes sense. We’re dealing with our kids—our world, our LIFE, the greatest and deepest love we’ve ever known! We want nothing but the absolute best. But here’s a reframe: what if the absolute best nanny for your family isn’t the “perfect nanny” described above?

The most perfect nanny on paper will not always be the right fit for your family.

It’s pivotal for your nanny to have prior professional experience, great references, a good driving record, a clean background check, and First Aid/CPR certification—absolutely! We hear you, and wholeheartedly agree.

It’s when we demand specific quantity over quality that we risk losing out on some wonderful candidates. Say a nanny has two years of experience instead of the 10+ required, but they are two INCREDIBLE years of experience, growing with a family, demonstrating deep care and investment, and assisting them in implementing sustainable practices for sleep, development, socialization, etc. That sounds like a qualified and passionate caregiver!

Plus, there are other hugely significant (and less quantifiable) factors to consider, that often can’t be gathered from a resume alone:

1. Caregiving Styles / Parenting Philosophies

   • What do these look like for your family? It tends to be important that you and your nanny are aligned when it comes to caregiving styles and philosophies. There isn’t one fool-proof way of doing things, but if your family values gentle and respectful caregiving or would like someone who is familiar with Montessori or RIE methods, finding a nanny with these values and proclivities should be a priority.

2. Communication Style

   • How do you communicate best? How would you want this to look in an employer-employee relationship? Are daily or weekly check-ins your thing? Do you prefer communication and updates from your nanny throughout the day (i.e. with Rayz Kidz app), or would you like to wait to be updated at the end of the work day? How do you handle and resolve conflict?

3. Energy Level

   • How fast-paced is your family life? Do you live on the fourth floor of a walk-up building? Are you seeking a caregiver who will take your little ones on daily or weekly adventures outside the home? Do you prefer more low-key days and indoor activities? Make this known! Some nannies will be up for any adventure and can set your kids up with a packed schedule of endless activities, and some nannies are okay with slower days and staying in, but most caregivers will want to know about this beforehand.

4. Personality / Passion

   • Pay attention to their “why” when it comes to caregiving! But also, find out who your nanny is outside of work (if they’re interested in sharing)! What else do they love to do? What are their hobbies? What things are most life-giving for them? Ask them about things that light them up—this is often when we get to see people in their truest form!

5. Someone You Can Truly Partner With

   • This is what it all comes down to. How will you and the nanny work together? What is their chemistry like with the kids, and with you? Can you envision building a healthy, long-term partnership, where both your family and your nanny are thriving?

Notice that these factors are more BIG PICTURE items—well-rounded in nature, relationship-focused, and personal to your family and to the candidate.

After all, maybe you have an infant now, but in no time at all, that infant will be a toddler, and if it’s important for you to have a caregiver who can grow with your family and perhaps take on new roles with time, then this position can’t be reduced to a requirement of 10+ years of infant experience.

This is a RELATIONSHIP!

And, ideally for both parties, a long-term relationship. It’s key that both of you feel valued and heard from the beginning. This means that you should aim to make your position attractive for candidates as well, rather than presenting a one-sided depiction of your requirements and needs. Bear in mind that the interview process goes both ways too!

This relationship is undoubtedly an investment, but the value and ongoing return on this investment is beyond compare.

Here at Nanny Harmony, we set you up for success. Our team has extensive experience in the nanny industry and is well-versed when it comes to the ins and outs of this field. And—bottom line—we care deeply both for families and for nannies. As an agency, we have access to a pool of incredible career nannies who are seeking long-term commitments and are reliable, passionate, and highly-qualified. We are ready to guide you through this process, when you’re ready to begin the search for your very best fit! You can fill out a family application today.

If you’d like to learn more about our process before applying, head over to our families page!